Cue rolling of the eyes.

In the episode “Heroes” of the Little Mermaid television series, Apollo, hero of the Octopian Wars (against octopus merman, in the style of Ursula), comes home to Atlantica. Ariel, aka, the Little Mermaid, who adores this brave and noble hero/explorer, sets off with Apollo in search of Valhalla, the “land of heroes.” When they get there some Viking mermen, capture the trio (Apollo, Ariel and Flounder) and set them up against Maleficent. True story. (Except, the dragon who lacks both gills and fins/tails, is never reffered to as Maleficent.)

This however leads up to the best line (not that there’s much competition) in the entire epsiode.

“Where does he get all that courage from?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s the heroic music.”

Gotta love self-referential humour.

Anyways. The trio then ride back to Atlantica, where Ursula and the Octopans have been causing trouble, and save the day with Maleficent’s fire breathing skills. Underwater.

I think the writer’s never got the memo: Less is more.

Not only that, but then I watched another episode, where the Royal Family holiday at a resort in the north pole. Ariel finds a stegosaurus, tyrannosaurus rex, two brontosaurus… (what’s the plural?) and a triceratops. (It’s like Tarzan, there happens to be lions, panthers, elephants, monkeys, gorillas and cannibal African tribes all in one area). Ariel “borrows” daddy’s trident, and thaws them out - only to have them go rampaging underwater (despite being cold-blooded in arctic waters, AND again having NO gills), destroying the resort. The day is saved thanks to a humphback whale (who has mysteriously grown teeth) named Humphrey, who gives the t-rex a good beating, and the King himself, who uses his trident to recreate the natural habitat of the dinosaurs, allowing them to live out their lives in peace. I mean, WTF?

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to watch this show (courtesy of Playhouse Disney), but I really have No Idea.